You will have your critics. What will you do about them?
Our critics are both external and internal. External critics may be friends, family, fellow writers, agents and publishers if we are lucky enough to have them. These external critics may give us positive feedback or negative. Your critique group might scoff at a main character’s behavior, saving you from centering an entire novel on an unlikable protagonist. Whew! Or your best friend might dislike your latest short story for reasons that rip your heart to shreds so you don’t get out of bed for days. Urgh!
We can only do so much about the external critics. We cannot control or dictate what they say or feel about our writing. We can only control our reactions to them. We can simply refuse to listen. We can take the parts they give us that serve our writing and leave the rest. We can cower in a corner, whimpering until we realize the rejection letter did not kill us. Drastically, we could omit these people from our lives altogether—not entirely feasible when it comes to family, but we could, indeed, choose not to allow these people to play a dominant role in our lives.
More practically, here are five ways we can deal with our external critics:
1. Remember, it is not personal.
Feedback of both sorts, positive and negative, is directed toward the work, not at you as a person. The work is the subject, so do not allow others’ comments and reactions about your latest writing project to embody YOU.
2. Do not generalize.
Feedback is about the work (see above). It is not about you, your life, your circumstances, your past, your future, or even about your other pieces of writing. The feedback you receive on a given manuscript is just that—about that one manuscript.
3. Be willing to improve.
We all want to be better writers. Openly receiving feedback and deciding how to act upon it allows us to do that. Use both positive and negative feedback to improve your writing.
4. Turn it into motivation.
Negative opinions conveyed in a hurtful manner can elicit anger, resentment, or frustration in us. Hear beyond the tone of the delivery and see if the words hold anything in them that you can transform into motivation to improve your work.
5. Consider the source.
Everyone loves to express their opinions, even when they may not be relevant. Criticism is subjective and is influenced by the person’s individual perspective and experience. So consider whether the advice or suggestions they give you are valid and helpful or simply do not apply.
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Use these tips to manage your external critics as much as they can be managed. Our inner critics are far more insidious. We will touch on ways to deal with those in next week’s tip.
This creativity tip was inspired by The 97 Best Creativity Tips Ever! by Dr. Eric Maisel (2011), and is used with his permission.
Gina Hogan Edwards is an Editor and Creativity Coach, and the founder of Around the Writer’s Table. She supports aspiring and experienced authors who want a writing life on their own terms, whether their words are put on the page for self-fulfillment or to share with readers.
Gina Edwards is a retreat leader, a certified creativity coach, and a book editor. She is also a writer, so she’s intimately familiar with the challenges and elation that come with being one.
She supports all writers—published and aspiring—who want to write as an act of courageous and necessary self-expression.
Walking the writer’s path hand-in-hand with her clients and students, she helps them establish a writing practice and define a creative life on their own terms.
It helps to get multiple responses (as in a critique group) and see if there is consensus. When the same objection comes up multiple times it is worth taking seriously.
As for BIG criticisms like an in-print review from a major review source it hits hard, and takes a real act of courage to move on. Even if the review reveals that the reviewer had their own agenda or didn’t “get” the book you have no recourse but to remain silent. Fighting a bad review just makes the writer look like a poor loser.
Good advice!